--A man who had an eye made of wood walked into a bar. He saw an attractive lady who sported a leg made of wood. He was infatuated by that beautiful thing; the way the light reflected off the varnish just so, the uniformity and symmetry of the grains as they ran the length of the post- vascular prosthetic. As he approached her, she too was taken by his eyes, especially the solid walnut, naturally finished right eye which he displayed with no shame. She wondered what was his name and from where he came. He spoke just loud enough for her to hear him over chatter in the bar, the billiard balls cracking and dropping into the pockets, and Phil Collins singing "You'll be in my heart." He asked with little confidence, "Would you like to dance"... he paused visibly shaken, then continued, "with me? You really don't have..." Before he could finish she answered with notable enthusiasm, "Would I!" Despondently and with a touch of venom he sneared, "Peg-leg!!" as he huffed away, evidently offended.
Last weekend Brigham had an irritated eye. Over the next week it got progressively worse. 6 days and 2 doctors later the medical proffessionals discovered a thorn in his right eye. I'm not sure if it had gotten there by accident or whether that eye had offended Brigham and he had taken action. The incident is still being investigated. Friday evening at 20:43:27 Brigham had emergency surgery on his eye to remove the thorn that had been in there for one week. The fiberous tunic of the cornea had grown over the thorn with a risk of penetrating the anterior chamber of the sclera. Brigham was under the knife for two hours. He now has to wear an obnoxious eye guard and splints on his arms to keep his hands away from his eyes. It is enjoying to tell him to touch his nose- to really encourage him to... because he can't. It's just kinda fun. Anyway here are some pictures. One is off him on Thursday, you can tell his eyes are really irritated.
